As the Title suggests, I'm running on empty physically, mentally and spiritually. The funny thing is, there are people in my sphere of influence that seem to be working longer hours and accomplishing more than I am, yet I'm always the one who's tired.
Maybe depression is trying to weigh in. Whatever the cause, feelings of unrest, hopelessness and frustration seem to be more common than positive thoughts of late. I've not forgotten my blessings, but I'm just being honest with what I'm feeling today.
I don't like that my house smells like a litter box. It seems to be a non-issue for the rest of my family, but it really and truly bothers and embarrasses me. I hate (yes, hate) that my garage is constantly a bathroom for those felines. It makes me sick to go in there for any purpose and I just boil with anger at the thought of each day that passes by where my home is permitted to be destroyed.
The kids are simply too much. They continue to absolutely trash the house, room by room and my wife and I are exhausted in trying to keep things clean. They constantly sneak food which blows our food budget and at the end of the day, mom and dad are fried. Add in the feelings of anger I have towards the cats and you have bitter, persistent resentment.
In a perfect world, the cats would go away (or at least whoever can't be rehabilitated to actually use the litter box), the house would be repaired, the kids would stop sneaking food and begin to pick up after themselves. I'm praying that this could be a possibility, because on days like today, I want to run away.
"Lord, please heal the feelings of bitterness and anger within me constantly. Please hear my prayers in dealing with the pets, kids and home repairs. Please, just help... Amen."
Good Night
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