Still Processing...

I don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer" tonight, but I'm still processing feelings of fear, uncertainty and depression. I'm aware that these things aren't from God. I also understand that unless I'm feeding my spirit, my flesh will gain strength. Although I know better, I haven't been spending much time in the Word, or attending church, as I'd normally make time for. There is no mystery as to why I feel the way I do.

I feel disconnected from my own heart; I can't describe it as anything other than numbness. I believe that's the definition of apathy. I could certainly use your prayers in overcoming this matter. If this is how the world operates within their daily lives, I want no part of it!

I'm not speaking poorly about my faith, or expressing doubts about my salvation. I'm certain of who I belong to, and where I'm going once I die. I've simply made the choice, either unconsciously or consciously, to become preoccupied with other things. I've taken my focus off of Jesus, and was laid out.

After re-reading my paragraphs above, it would appear that each section begins with the word "I" or "I'm". That's certainly telling, isn't it. Perhaps this introspection is revealing the root cause of my problems. Could it be selfishness? That stings a bit, but makes perfect sense. If I'm critically focused about elements of my life, my situations, my problems, what can be done for me, etc., then it must be selfishness. I'll need to chew on that for a few days.

Right now, it's time to stand up, dust off and look into the Word for some encouragement.

Psalm 67:1-3 (The Message)

God, mark us with grace and blessing! Smile!
The whole country will see how you work,
all the godless nations see how you save.
God! Let people thank and enjoy you.
Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Let all far-flung people become happy
and shout their happiness because
You judge them fair and square,
you tend the far-flung peoples.
God! Let people thank and enjoy you.
Let all people thank and enjoy you.
Earth, display your exuberance!
You mark us with blessing, O God, our God.
You mark us with blessing, O God.
Earth's four corners—honor him!

Good Night