It's All About Attitude

While waiting for the bus to arrive at the Transit Station this morning, my wife and I began talking to each other about various things while seated in the car. We discussed the goings on with our children (one of which was in the back seat) and the plans we'd charted out for the day. Most of the agenda involved going shopping for groceries, planning out who would need to come home if a child came home sick, what we had planned for the upcoming weekend, etc.

What gripped me was my wife's diagnosis of a chronic problem I experience: a poor attitude.

This past year has been pretty rough for me mentally regarding my workplace. It's no secret that I used to be a valuable member of the team; I was involved in most high level projects, interfaced with management and was relatively indispensable in terms of knowledge and technical prowess. When someone wanted to know something- almost anything, my cubicle was on the short list to visit. I wasn't being prideful. I was happy to be esteemed and I felt as though I had purpose. Then it happened.

Something began to change at a pace so slow, I didn't consciously track it. A year later I find that I'm exhausted almost every day. I often feel ineffective in completing tasks and projects compared to my former standard. Several times a month, I find myself lost amid feelings of paranoia and hopelessness. Am I clinically depressed? I have no idea. Weekends and vacations do not help, either.

Not as many people stop by to ask me questions anymore. Meetings are being scheduled around me and I don't seem to have clear-cut long term goals. I don't know how I fit in with the team, or how valued I am. I'm wandering from day to day and task to task without the intense motivation I once felt. What once felt solid, now feels unstable. Is it all in my head, or is it real? In this economy, now is not the time to be experiencing such drama.

I explained to my wife that it's as though I'm on an ill-fated train ride and can't seem to get off. I can see that the bridge is out. I know what the outcome will be, but I'm powerless to do anything but ride it over the edge. I don't want to quit, and I don't want to be let go- it could be catastrophic. I want to eventually pursue other interests, but the financial needs of the family keep me trapped in what I'm currently doing for the foreseeable future.

My wife retorted that these feelings of inadequacy and lack of esteem in my abilities and overall performance may be linked to a poor attitude. If I've already mentally given up, I'm just waiting to be let go. Subconsciously packing it in is likely keeping me from trying as hard, or reaching as far as I once did. It may also be undermining my efforts to remain employed. What's even worse, is that all of this uncertainty at work follows me home. It affects my relationships with my family and keeps me from having a thankful heart. Attitude makes all the difference. I need a change, before it's too late.

Today is the first day of late, where I consciously adjusted my attitude for the better. I made a choice to do my best and all I could do was hang onto that thought today. I'll repeat the choice tomorrow as well(and the next, and so on), in hopes that I can correct any damage that's been done.

I thank the Lord for giving me such an intelligent and insightful wife, who cares deeply about my soul.

Good Night

I Think Paul and I Could Be Friends...

Maybe you've been through the Bible a few times, but I haven't. In fact, this year is only the second time through for me. I listen to podcasts of the Bible being read aloud on my phone, instead of reading the text. In many ways, this form of aural processing and comprehension is easier for me than reading, as I commute to and from work. I've found that in this years' journey, I'm picking up gems which were missed the first time.

The writings of Paul are some of those gems. Now, I know that the Bible was written by men who were inspired by God, so I'm not trying to bring glory to the men themselves. However, I think Paul and I would've been friends. Here's a man who totally started out on the wrong foot; persecuting Christians and trying to extinguish their very existence. He got around (before and after his conversion) and he was pretty hardcore.

God sets up a collision course on the road to Damascus and quickly (dramatically) straightens "Saul" out. Recovering from the quick bout of glory-induced blindness, Paul emerges as a new man a few days later, with a new mission: spread the same Gospel he was formerly trying to eliminate!

Some say he may have been slow in speech, or verbally inarticulate. After reading of his past and observing the sheer intelligence, power and passion in his work, Paul was a man who would have "owned the room" at a party, regardless of his physical demeanor. I wouldn't be surprised (if he were alive today) if Paul sported a Mohawk and had flaming tattoos on his forearms. He would have been different than anyone I know, but his heart would be 100 percent genuine and I'm certain we would've hung out. ;)

The New Testament is plentiful in examples of Paul's writing, but tonight, we'll discuss Galatians.

Evidently another group of people swept in behind Paul after his visit to Galatia and attempted to spread a gospel other than the one they'd first received. Some people were swayed back into the line of thinking that salvation and righteousness are earned through keeping the Mosaic law, and not given freely (in the case of the work of the cross), or by living a faith-filled life. The following chapters beautifully vocalize Paul's take on the matter (with a bit of sass and sarcasm!).

Galatians 3-4 (English Standard Version)

Galatians 3

By Faith, or by Works of the Law?

1O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. 2Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? 3Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? 4 Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? 5Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith— 6just as Abraham "believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness"?

7Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham. 8And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, "In you shall all the nations be blessed." 9So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

The Righteous Shall Live by Faith

10For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them." 11Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for "The righteous shall live by faith." 12But the law is not of faith, rather "The one who does them shall live by them." 13Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree"— 14so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith.

The Law and the Promise

15 To give a human example, brothers: even with a man-made covenant, no one annuls it or adds to it once it has been ratified. 16Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, "And to offsprings," referring to many, but referring to one, "And to your offspring," who is Christ. 17This is what I mean: the law, which came 430 years afterward, does not annul a covenant previously ratified by God, so as to make the promise void. 18For if the inheritance comes by the law, it no longer comes by promise; but God gave it to Abraham by a promise.

19Why then the law? It was added because of transgressions, until the offspring should come to whom the promise had been made, and it was put in place through angels by an intermediary. 20Now an intermediary implies more than one, but God is one.

21Is the law then contrary to the promises of God? Certainly not! For if a law had been given that could give life, then righteousness would indeed be by the law. 22But the Scripture imprisoned everything under sin, so that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe.

23Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. 24So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. 25But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, 26for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. 27For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.

Galatians 4

Sons and Heirs

1I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, 2but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father. 3In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. 4But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Paul’s Concern for the Galatians

8Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. 9But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? 10 You observe days and months and seasons and years! 11I am afraid I may have labored over you in vain.

12Brothers, I entreat you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You did me no wrong. 13You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, 14and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. 15What then has become of the blessing you felt? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. 16Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? 17They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. 18It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, 19 my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! 20I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.

Example of Hagar and Sarah

21Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not listen to the law? 22For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by a slave woman and one by a free woman. 23But the son of the slave was born according to the flesh, while the son of the free woman was born through promise. 24Now this may be interpreted allegorically: these women are two covenants. One is from Mount Sinai, bearing children for slavery; she is Hagar. 25Now Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia; she corresponds to the present Jerusalem, for she is in slavery with her children. 26But the Jerusalem above is free, and she is our mother. 27For it is written,

"Rejoice, O barren one who does not bear;
break forth and cry aloud, you who are not in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than those of the one who has a husband."

28Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. 29But just as at that time he who was born according to the flesh persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, so also it is now. 30But what does the Scripture say? "Cast out the slave woman and her son, for the son of the slave woman shall not inherit with the son of the free woman." 31So, brothers, we are not children of the slave but of the free woman.

Wow. That was incredibly powerful stuff concerning spiritual freedom and slavery, faith and the law. Sometimes it takes someone like Paul to spell it out and make it clear for us to grasp. We're free in Jesus!

Good Night

Jesus Loves Me

I am absolutely done tonight. When I woke up this morning, I was absolutely ready to return to bed. I felt awful. I'm still struggling at work as well, trying to make heads or tails if I still fit in, or not. I'm not sure of God's plan, or what's about to happen. All I want is to work hard, make a difference and be a good steward. It just feels lukewarm and numb.

Now that it's evening, I'm looking forward to some rest. Hopefully things will look up tomorrow. Even when I am at my worst, I know Jesus still loves me.

Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.

Good Night

I Love Autumn!

Although it's been almost a week since it officially began, I'm grateful that Autumn is finally here! (Today's exception of 85 degrees and wicked humidity not withstanding) Autumn marks a time of beautiful change; the kids are in full swing with their school routines, the days are getting shorter, evenings are cooler and leaves on nearly every tree and bush are set ablaze in near-fluorescent color palettes. It's a time of gradual, beautiful change.

I like how Winnie-The-Pooh summarizes the season best:

"So it is! It's first day of autumn! A time of hot chocolatety mornings, and toasting marshmallow evenings, and best of all, leaping into LEAVES!" -Pooh

Our spiritual lives can experience changes in this way, too. When we first give our lives to Christ, sometimes it can take days, weeks or months for our "outer man" (behaviors, actions, etc.) to begin to manifest the fruits of the spirit that the "inner man" posesses. In my own life, some deep-rooted change has been years in the making. I know that Christ is at work in my life and He's transforming me into His likeness gradually each day. It's a slow, yet worthwhile change.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (New International Version)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Romans 12:2 (New International Version)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Looking back, how have you changed since giving your life to Jesus? If you haven't asked Him into your heart as your personal Savior, maybe it's time for change.

Good Night

Getting Ready For Monday

I'm ready for sleep, but not necessarily the work week.

The Good news is that the Lord loves me and will get me through the day, regardless of how I feel in the coming days.

Today was pretty low-key, overall. We spent the majority of it in our pajamas, which is not something we normally "do". We love being comfortable, and having no particular place to have to run was pleasant. However, we did break for lunch with the kids; meeting the grandparents for pizza at our favorite pizza parlor, Padington's. We also had to stop by the store for a few grocery items for the week.

The morning activities included the hand-off of a friend's jailbroken and unlocked iPhone. As you may recall, I wrote about the challenges faced yesterday while trying to nail the process down. Well, after the T-Mobile SIM was installed, the phone was functional- yes!

I made great strides tonight on the rebuild of an older PowerMac G4 "Quicksilver" for the same friend. We had a slightly newer PowerMac parts machine available (Mirror Drive Door), which wasn't 100% complete in its own right. Although many of the parts were not interchangeable, I was able to "beef up" the Quicksilver PowerMac and get it tweaked for action. The other Mac would've been more powerful, but replacing the power supply would have been cost-prohibitive.

I also was successful in getting a USB wireless network card working, which my friend happened to have on hand. The drivers on the manufacturer's website were specified as Intel platform, but the Lord's grace allowed the wireless card to run on the PowerPC architecture. I pray my friend enjoys the Mac- he's been a PC guy for as long as I've known him. Hopefully the performance and level of "polish" that encompasses his "new" Apple shines through on the 8 year old machine. (Ha! I'd love to see an 8 year old PC perform as well.) If he turns out to hate the machine, I'm sure I could find a place for it here. ;)

Well, that's about it. I didn't read the Bible, nor listen to a podcast today. I don't have insight or advice to offer, but God was surely present while I was working on the tech projects this weekend. I'm pretty sure he had His head over my shoulder, looking at everything I was doing. He loves us and wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. Even the ordinary stuff.

May God bless you this week. I pray for the safety, growth and prosperity to everyone who reads these worlds. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Good Night

Very Full Saturday

This morning began by rising at 7:00AM and heading off to Starbucks downtown with a friend of mine. We were meeting another friend for coffee and some fellowship- just the guys. It actually turned out to be pretty enjoyable and I have great respect for both of the men I call "friends".

The afternoon (and later in the evening) was filled with the trials of jailbreaking (easy) and unlocking (not as easy) a first generation iPhone. It was more difficult than it should have been because I performed a factory roll back before I began the steps, which was a good idea at the time, but made for a few more processes (which I had to learn) in order to really get rolling. Then, intermittent WiFi issues kept the Cydia App from being able to connect up with specific file repositories I needed. At this point, things are still half-baked, but I "think" it's ready for testing.

Church tonight was pretty amazing. Although our sermon came in the form of a video from our pastor, it was a good message. It was STELLAR seeing our worship leader up on the stage (he's been out of commission for almost 2 months with a shoulder and back injury) beforehand for worship music. His thoughts on Psalm 42 were genuine. "As the deer..." was a song we sang, but all the while I kept thinking about how the Lord is prompting me to dive deeper into his word each day. My spirit has literally been panting!

Psalm 42:1 (New International Version)

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

For over a year, listening the DailyAudioBible podcasts were enough daily bread. Lately, I've been behind in these audio gems (about 2 weeks, consistently) and I feel that the Lord is asking me to not only continue to listen to these podcasts, but to actually get into reading the Bible as well, meditating on it and then discussing it with other men.

It's time to go deeper into my relationship with Jesus, so I can really "know Him", instead of simply learning about Him.

Good Night

TGIF!

After a full week, I'm so thankful that it's finally Friday! It is my sincere hope that all of us spend some quality time with the Lord, delving deeper into His word. And, in times of fellowship with family and friends. God Bless You!

Good Night

Technology Troubles!

Today was supposed to be a time when I could step up and easily help a couple of friends of mine with their technology woes; a neighbor has a dead laptop that they would like the pictures salvaged from. Another friend has a couple of old PowerMac G4 towers that are non-functional.

It turns out that the hard disk in the laptop has a proprietary SATA connector, so I'm not going to be able to attach it to another system in order to mount the drive. I'll have to give the laptop back, all without being able to help them at all. Fail.

One of the PowerMac's is working, but it wouldn't connect to the network. The other tower's hardware may work, but the power supply is missing- and the two towers do not share many interchangeable parts. After close inspection, the built-in Ethernet port on the working Mac has heinously bent pins. I tried to fix them, but they're simply too far gone to be restored. Another PCI network card is present in the tower; it is seen by the switch and has link. However, manually configuring the IP address and/or using DHCP doesn't produce a "real" address and in turn, Internet connectivity. I tested the cable with my iMac and had no issues, so the problem is with the older G4 tower.

I'm 0 for 2 repairs tonight. It's hard not to take it personally. I'm a decent technician, but it is a negative shot to my self confidence when I can't help a friend. I'll recommend another card for the PowerMac and have full confidence that I can get it running. At least at that point one of my friends will be all-the-better in terms of computing equipment.

I'm so glad I don't have to earn nor perform in order to receive God's love and grace!

Ephesians 2:8-10 (English Standard Version)

8For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Good Night

I'm Completely Empty Tonight

This afternoon, we heard of the situation of an acquaintance of ours who is losing their home at the end of the month. We knew there may have been some things going on over the past few months, but the foreclosure is in full swing. They said they were trying to work with the bank, but they keep coming up with loose ends. No one wants to help them.

As I write this, I'm feeling sick to my stomach and my spirit is grieving. We've been in that situation and we know what they must be feeling right now. We wish we had unlimited resources, so that we could write a check and resolve their problems. However, we aren't in a position to offer that blessing right now.

It's disheartening. The anxiety we feel for them is also trying to attach itself to us, because truth be told, there's no reason in this world that this type of situation couldn't happen to us again. Except one.

We choose to believe that Jesus has our lives in the palm of his hand and that no weapon formed against us will prosper. But it hurts to see fellow brothers and sisters suffering. Should we go and share the gospel with them in their time of crisis? Do we offer advice, or simply watch things unfold?

Please pray for a miracle for our friends.

Good Night

Quick Post

Good evening,

I'm going to be brief, because I've got some other business to attend to this evening that cannot wait. Please agree with me in prayer for my family back east:

"Lord, please bring your healing touch to my aunt Sherrie, whose emphysema-stricken lungs are deteriorating. Please restore health to her body and peace to her spirit. Jesus, we ask that you cover my aunt April during her journey across state lines this week. Please bring her home safe and sound. Please bring clarity and peace to my uncle Victor, showing him the true way to truth and life. Please bless my mother and continue to offer your protection over her life. Amen!"

Good Night

Life Is Back To Normal

After a whirlwind weekend, it was back to the normal daily routines and it felt great! I was able to get an assignment completed at work which was months behind schedule. Then, spending the evening with my family was wonderful. Now it's time to reflect on some of the lessons learned at the retreat:

1. You don't need more information for transformation. You don't need to wait for conditions to improve before asking the Lord Jesus into your life.

2. Pursue holiness, not happiness. If you seek a genuine relationship with Jesus, you'll seek holiness. In turn, happiness will likely naturally manifest in your life.

3. Resolve to live without secrets.

4. Remain committed to God, family, friends and self.

5. Acknowledge our feelings and fears; facing issues head on (we're not alone).

6. Don't allow ourselves to become offended easily.

7. Know that God doesn't need us. He loves us!

8. In times of trouble, we need to lean on Jesus as our source of provision and life. (most spiritual growth is accomplished in these trials of our lives)

9. Realize that God is good. All the time.

10. Obedience brings clarity.

Good Night

It Feels Great To Be Home!

After a full weekend at the Northwest Men's Retreat at Camp Tadmor, I arrived home safely this afternoon. It was GREAT to see my wife and kids and I've got to tell you; my shower, carpet and bed never felt better! I'm much more blessed than I'd previously realized. It simply took a couple of days away in the woods to reveal it...

I've got so much to tell you, but I'm absolutely wiped out tonight. (However, I've attached a few seconds of the worship music we participated in, for your viewing pleasure.)

Let's just say that it was a life-altering weekend and I hope to apply the concepts and tools directly to my relationship with the Lord, my family, friends, coworkers and the world.



Good Night

Men's Retreat, Part 2

It was a full day; up at 6:00, cleaned up and eating breakfast by 6:30. Service at 8:00 and water baptisms by 9:00. By the time worship and lunch were over, it was 1:00. We had about 4 hours of free time thereafter to play games, sports or read, but the rain put a damper on most of the outdoor activities. A glorious steak dinner kicked off the late afternoon, paving the way for worship into the late hours.

Tonight's message was wonderful. We learned so much and enjoyed good food and great fellowship. I ended up leaving the service early with a friend (we were both exhausted) but do not feel deprived in the least. I've got so many notes and ideas to share, but that will have to wait for another time. I'm so thankful to be here.

Thank you, Jesus for loving me and calling me by name. Thank you babe (my wife), for pushing through and buying my ticket for this event.

Good Night

Men's Retreat, Part 1

Tonight marks the first night of the 2010 NW Men's retreat at Camp Tadmore. Our guest speaker was a world-renown wrestler and coach. It was a great and motivational way to begin the journey with God this weekend.

1. Who is in control? (God)

2. What does God want me to control?
(my pursuit of a relationship with Him)
(my pursuit of my personal relationships)
(my relationship with myself)

It's time for some sleep now.

Good night

In Order To Move On, We Must Forgive.

Like a one-two punch, the Daily Audio Bible "Which Way Do I Go?" podcast hit me between the eyes. Still reeling from the ending of Job yesterday, today's lesson was about having faith to move mountains. But first, we need to forgive one another so that we too are forgiven. I believe that includes forgiving ourselves for things we've said or done in our past.

The way Brian Hardin explained it, it was as if this message was God's direct instruction for me- it was exactly what I needed to hear today. There are no coincidences with God, and this tapestry of life lessons issued this week from the Old and New Testaments was amazing. I pray the Lord helps give me the strength to apply it.

Mark 11:12-14, 20-25 (English Standard Version)

Jesus Curses the Fig Tree

12 On the following day, when they came from Bethany, he was hungry. 13 And seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. 14 And he said to it, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard it.

The Lesson from the Withered Fig Tree

20 As they passed by in the morning, they saw the fig tree withered away to its roots. 21 And Peter remembered and said to him, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered." 22 And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. 23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

If you're going to have faith, go "all in". Do not doubt- but press forward. Likewise, forgive others who have wronged you. Truly forgive yourself for mistakes past. Keep you "spiritual conduit" open to the Lord by ridding yourself of toxic anger, resentment and bitterness. Let go.

Good Night

There Is More Going On Than What We See

I'll say it again; there is more going on than what we see. It's important to get this concept into our heads and never forget it. Honestly, I'm confessing it now so that first and foremost, I understand and believe it myself.

After listening to Job over the last few days in the Daily Audio Bible podcast (yep, I'm still behind), chapters 40-42 were absolutely amazing. Here we find God speaking to Job, correcting him by asking almost unfathomable questions to which he has no answer. With each passing paragraph, it becomes clear that God is absolutely sovereign (and we aren't). God is always right and his ways of thinking and doing far exceed our own.

There is more going on than what we see.

Job 40-42 (English Standard Version)

Job 40

1And the LORD said to Job:
2"Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?
He who argues with God, let him answer it."

Job Promises Silence

3Then Job answered the LORD and said:
4"Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
5I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further."

The LORD Challenges Job

6Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
7"Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
8Will you even put me in the wrong?
Will you condemn me that you may be in the right?
9Have you an arm like God,
and can you thunder with a voice like his?

10"Adorn yourself with majesty and dignity;
clothe yourself with glory and splendor.
11Pour out the overflowings of your anger,
and look on everyone who is proud and abase him.
12Look on everyone who is proud and bring him low
and tread down the wicked where they stand.
13Hide them all in the dust together;
bind their faces in the world below.
14Then will I also acknowledge to you
that your own right hand can save you.

15"Behold, Behemoth,
which I made as I made you;
he eats grass like an ox.
16Behold, his strength in his loins,
and his power in the muscles of his belly.
17He makes his tail stiff like a cedar;
the sinews of his thighs are knit together.
18His bones are tubes of bronze,
his limbs like bars of iron.

19"He is the first of the works of God;
let him who made him bring near his sword!
20For the mountains yield food for him
where all the wild beasts play.
21Under the lotus plants he lies,
in the shelter of the reeds and in the marsh.
22For his shade the lotus trees cover him;
the willows of the brook surround him.
23Behold, if the river is turbulent he is not frightened;
he is confident though Jordan rushes against his mouth.
24Can one take him by his eyes,
or pierce his nose with a snare?

Job 41

1"Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook
or press down his tongue with a cord?
2Can you put a rope in his nose
or pierce his jaw with a hook?
3Will he make many pleas to you?
Will he speak to you soft words?
4Will he make a covenant with you
to take him for your servant forever?
5Will you play with him as with a bird,
or will you put him on a leash for your girls?
6Will traders bargain over him?
Will they divide him up among the merchants?
7Can you fill his skin with harpoons
or his head with fishing spears?
8Lay your hands on him;
remember the battle—you will not do it again!
9Behold, the hope of a man is false;
he is laid low even at the sight of him.
10No one is so fierce that he dares to stir him up.
Who then is he who can stand before me?
11Who has first given to me, that I should repay him?
Whatever is under the whole heaven is mine.

12"I will not keep silence concerning his limbs,
or his mighty strength, or his goodly frame.
13Who can strip off his outer garment?
Who would come near him with a bridle?
14Who can open the doors of his face?
Around his teeth is terror.
15His back is made of rows of shields,
shut up closely as with a seal.
16One is so near to another
that no air can come between them.
17They are joined one to another;
they clasp each other and cannot be separated.
18His sneezings flash forth light,
and his eyes are like the eyelids of the dawn.
19Out of his mouth go flaming torches;
sparks of fire leap forth.
20Out of his nostrils comes forth smoke,
as from a boiling pot and burning rushes.
21His breath kindles coals,
and a flame comes forth from his mouth.
22In his neck abides strength,
and terror dances before him.
23The folds of his flesh stick together,
firmly cast on him and immovable.
24His heart is hard as a stone,
hard as the lower millstone.
25When he raises himself up the mighty are afraid;
at the crashing they are beside themselves.
26Though the sword reaches him, it does not avail,
nor the spear, the dart, or the javelin.
27He counts iron as straw,
and bronze as rotten wood.
28The arrow cannot make him flee;
for him sling stones are turned to stubble.
29Clubs are counted as stubble;
he laughs at the rattle of javelins.
30His underparts are like sharp potsherds;
he spreads himself like a threshing sledge on the mire.
31He makes the deep boil like a pot;
he makes the sea like a pot of ointment.
32Behind him he leaves a shining wake;
one would think the deep to be white-haired.
33 On earth there is not his like,
a creature without fear.
34He sees everything that is high;
he is king over all the sons of pride."

Job 42

Job’s Confession and Repentance

1Then Job answered the LORD and said:
2"I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4'Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.'
5I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
6therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes."

The LORD Rebukes Job’s Friends

7After the LORD had spoken these words to Job, the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite: "My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. 8Now therefore take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves. And my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has." 9 So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did what the LORD had told them, and the LORD accepted Job’s prayer.

The LORD Restores Job’s Fortunes

10And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. 11Then came to him all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before, and ate bread with him in his house. And they showed him sympathy and comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him. And each of them gave him a piece of money and a ring of gold.

12And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. 13He had also seven sons and three daughters. 14And he called the name of the first daughter Jemimah, and the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-happuch. 15And in all the land there were no women so beautiful as Job’s daughters. And their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers. 16And after this Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, four generations. 17And Job died, an old man, and full of days.

Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Good Night

Not Much To Say Tonight

As I've said at times before this year, I don't have much to convey tonight. I'm feeling pretty empty inside. There are things going on in our lives in both work and home which are akin to a storm beating a ship against the rocks. I'll spare the specifics and drama, but it's uncomfortable. Some of the issues are self-inflicted, while others aren't. It's just the next wave, and the next, and so on.

I'm really hoping God has our backs and issues His strength and endurance during this season. In fact, I'm clinging to this hope.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (New International Version)

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Good Night

This Resonated With Me Today

After listening to a couple of podcasts today (trying to catch up), the following verses in Job were set apart in my mind.

I was amazed at the literal explanation about the Earth and it's relation to being suspended in outer space. Furthermore, we see evidence of the planet's core underneath the crust, where grains are grown for bread.

Man can dig tunnels looking for precious ore, but where is wisdom found, that is worth so much more?


Job 26:7 (English Standard Version)

He stretches out the north over the void
and hangs the earth on nothing.

Job 28 (English Standard Version)

1"Surely there is a mine for silver,
and a place for gold that they refine.
2Iron is taken out of the earth,
and copper is smelted from the ore.
3Man puts an end to darkness
and searches out to the farthest limit
the ore in gloom and deep darkness.
4He opens shafts in a valley away from where anyone lives;
they are forgotten by travelers;
they hang in the air, far away from mankind; they swing to and fro.
5As for the earth, out of it comes bread,
but underneath it is turned up as by fire.
6Its stones are the place of sapphires,[a]
and it has dust of gold.

7"That path no bird of prey knows,
and the falcon’s eye has not seen it.
8 The proud beasts have not trodden it;
the lion has not passed over it.

9"Man puts his hand to the flinty rock
and overturns mountains by the roots.
10He cuts out channels in the rocks,
and his eye sees every precious thing.
11He dams up the streams so that they do not trickle,
and the thing that is hidden he brings out to light.


I think the answer to wisdom's location is pretty obvious:

Job 28:28 (English Standard Version)

And he said to man,'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,
and to turn away from evil is understanding.'"

Good Night

We Are The Body

After getting up at 5:00 AM this morning, my wife and I ventured across town to check in and volunteer at the site of Salem's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition at the School for the Deaf. We had no idea where to go, or what would happen once we arrived. All we knew is that we'd committed ourselves to going and took a step.

Once the formalities of the check in process were behind us, we (along with several other volunteers) walked along a gravel drive to the Volunteer Hold Area. Periodically, a job boss would come along and select one, two or sometimes four volunteers at a time for any given task. As the jobs rolled in via radio, volunteers would jump on the opportunities without hesitation.

My wife and I missed a couple of chances to perform odd jobs, but by the time the opportunity to wash the heavy equipment came around, we stepped up without question. It turned out to be pretty rewarding work. Tractors, forklifts, power distribution boxes and saws all came through our cleaning area; either to be fully washed, or lightly "dusted off". We palatalized lumber, roofing and insulation materials and cleaned up a mess or two.

It was totally non-glamorous, and far removed from the "Hollywood" spectacle which will air on ABC in October (31st). No TV cameras were present in our area, nor high-profile megaphone-toting celebrities. Regardless, we still felt like we were part of something great.

Our pastor spoke of the same subject theme during the Saturday night service in church. He explained (among other things) that no one job is more or less than important than another. Simply because one person is in the spotlight, doesn't make them more important or influential than others. Likewise, serving others in even the smallest of ways allows the kingdom as a whole to advance.

Paul spoke of such things in 1st Corinthians 12. Every portion of the body of Christ is necessary and cannot survive on its own. The various body parts are all interconnected and designed for a specific purpose.

1 Corinthians 12:4-5 (New International Version)

4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.

1 Corinthians 12:12-27 (New International Version)

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[a] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

Good Night

Remember...

It's difficult to believe that the tragedy of September 11, 2001 is nine years into the history books. I still can't believe such a horrific act of terrorism happened right on our native American soil, while most of the nation helplessly watched. Suddently, the USA was vulnerable and the sense of fear was palpable.

My wife and I tuned in to the news, as we awoke that morning. Mouths agape, we silently watched the replay of the first tower collision. Then the second plane stuck its mark. When both towers tumbled to the ground, I knew we were living in a different form of America; forever changed and brutally scarred.

I didn't lose any family or friends that day in New York, nor at the Pentagon, or in Pennsylvania. I don't even think I personally know anyone who lost their loved ones there. But I do know that almost 3,000 men, women and children lost their lives that day. All they did was get up, get dressed and head off to work, or school. Some were on vacation, but each of their lives was cut short. It wasn't fair.

Let's pray they knew Jesus. I hope that in the confusion of that terrible morning, time stood still long enough for each of them to rest in the arms of their Savior. For those who weren't yet saved, let's hope they took a moment to get their eternal priorities corrected.

What a stark reminder that we need to choose Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior now. We cannot predict what the future holds for us, and things can change in the twinkling of an eye. If you do not know Jesus, or if it's time to simply reaffirm that He is the way, the truth and life, please pray with me:

"Lord Jesus, I believe that you are the son of God, who was made flesh and sent to Earth to die on the cross for my sins. I acknowledge you as my God, my Savior and the key to eternal life. I accept your free gift of salvation. Please come into my heart and save me. Amen."

Good Night

Friday Night Maintenance Gone Wrong

Tonight's events at work went very wrong. Regardless of preparing to perform what seemed like a few settings changes in the access level switch, the network filers and the virtual machine hosts, the evening did not transpire as smoothly, nor as quickly as I'd envisioned.

Without going into too much detail; I made some changes, some of my team made changes at the same time and several issues began to appear in various systems at different intervals. Was it my work that caused the issues? Was it the firewall upgrade? Specifically, what systems were online and what were offline? It was a nightmare.

After talking with my team and supervisor, we decided to roll back to a known good configuration of the switch and see where we were (ultimately, we would have rolled all systems back to previous states, if needed). After a reload of the switch, systems were finally coming back online and I was able to step through my required configuration changes, omitting one setting which caused the issue. (load balancing setting- ugh!)

After testing with trepidation, systems were online and logs were found 'clean'. We had a couple of anomalies to correct, but in the end, we were back on track to a successful maintenance period by 9:30. I'm still feeling uneasy about the events of this evening, but thus far, everything appears to be in proper order. I'll know more on Monday.

It appears as though God lifted us out of a real "jam" tonight and for that, I'm realy grateful. Now it's off to bed!

Luke 10:19

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

Good Night

What A Day

This morning started like any other; I got up, ran through the routine of getting cleaned up and ready for work. Lunch was packed and I was ready to go, until...

My wife awoke with the same migraine headache, which had been crippling her for the last few days. She was nauseated and feeling quite miserable. It was time to go to the doctor's office, no "ifs", "ands", or "buts". After running through the [new] morning routine of getting the children put together and off to school, my wife and I headed in to the clinic for her scheduled appointment.

She was given a prescription (which took seemingly forever to fill] and we were sent on our way. Had I been able to drive her home, the doctor indicated that they would have given her injections to stop the pain. However, since I could not legally drive, she had to wait for her prescription to be called in for the oral medication. I was kicking myself about that situation- if only I could drive, "things would be better!" She had to endure another couple hours of pain, waiting for her medication to apply and I ended up making the long walk to pick up the kids from school.

After getting home and helping my wife settle in for some sleep, I received a phone call from the low vision doctor I'd previously seen at Casey Eye Institute/OHSU. He was calling me back, to let me know that he had contacted a person who is relatively elevated in position at the Department of Motor Vehicles and intended to share my story and medical charts and field tests with him.

This conversation was prompted by a discussion I had with the good doctor about a year ago regarding the ability to drive; although my visual acuity (20/60) now could exceed the basic requirements for driving (20/70) in Oregon, the gap in my visual field didn't meet the state requirements. Although with the way my peripheral vision actually maps out, I can pass a DMV visual field test (I did so back in 1992), even though my contiguous field is somewhat broken, and below their stated requirement. They simply don't test on a gradient at the DMV, and it's for this reason I was able to pass in my youth. It may be a technicality and moral issue that separates me from an Oregon driver's license today. If I had no values, I'd have gone back and tested by now... I was even told by a professional that I could always move to another state with lower visual field requirements...

At any rate, the main reason for the Warren/OHSU/DMV conversation stream was to see if there's any way the Motor Vehicles medical examiner could allow for me to demonstrate my ability to safely pilot a car. This is potentially a litmus test as to whether or not I'll be allowed to drive again. It's not a guarantee, and they may flat out tell me "no", but I hope and pray that I'll be given this opportunity to prove myself- and pass with flying colors!

The aim is to try and formulate a program which dovetails into the existing Oregon Bioptic Driving Program. In this program, individuals which have a fairly complete field of vision, but a visual acuity of between 20/80 and 20/200 are fitted with a special telescopic lens on their glasses. This looking glass highly magnifies road signs at a distance and allows for restricted, daytime driving.

We're talking people who can perhaps read no further than the "big E" on an eye chart, here. These are the people who can enroll into a rehabilitation program, log many, many hours of driving with a specialized instructor and then endure annual scrutiny and "re-certification" in order to retain their driving privileges. It's grueling for certain, but the program exists for people who meet these criteria.

There is no equivalent program for people like me, who posses greater visual acuity, but lesser field of view than perhaps many of the Bioptic Drivers. With the same framework of customized, accommodating rehabilitation, followed by many man-hours behind the wheel with a specialized instructor, I believe that I can drive safely in Oregon. I'm not asking for the impossible, just a daytime restricted license to assist my wife in picking up milk from the grocery store.

Whether people are afflicted with retinal conditions like I am (Retinopathy of Prematurity), or Diabetic Retinopathy and forms of Macular Degeneration, all of which can affect your visual acuity or field of view, I would like to help create a sense of hope. Thousands of people who either cannot drive, or can no longer drive due to compromised ocular conditions. The disease or condition may have different names and prognoses, but the net outcome is generally classified as "low vision".

If the world sees in "High Definition", people with low vision see in "Standard Definition". I would love to pioneer a driving program for people with stable, but low vision like mine. Perhaps one day, people with age-old, or newly-acquired low vision can establish or continue their driving independence with the aid of such a training program. Advances in optical and networking technology may also push the envelope of visual and spatial augmentation, offering a "virtual co-pilot" to the driver.

TODAY: A person attains a standard driver's license when they're 16. They maintain that status until they're 60. At 61, a retinal disease is diagnosed. Visual field and acuity are affected, but the overall condition is only moderately progressive. Under normal circumstances, that 61 year old can either forfeit their independence, or will have their keys taken away by family. Or, they may simply stop driving out of a fear-based mentality. Some may continue to drive, but in our example, this person now depends on family and friends for transportation.

TOMORROW: Imagine if that same person whom at 61 is diagnosed with a progressive retinal condition, is notified of and automatically enrolled in a rehabilitation course, which is suited for their specific needs- not just limited to a select group of people? Now, this person is informed of their personal limitations, is specifically trained in how to accommodate them (scanning the horizon, checking mirrors more frequently, etc), is effectively restricted to their highest level of personal capacity (daytime driving), logs many hours of behind-the-wheel training and is re-certified as "safe" on an annual basis? This senior would likely yield more confidence behind the wheel and would retain their independence for perhaps years longer. What's more, if the screening process indicates the need to cease driving, it would be detected far earlier than traditional methods. The low-vision habits and accommodations learned could also prove useful in life, post-license.

Thank You, Jesus for this divinely-timed phone call today! All for your glory!

Good Night

Mid-Week [Prayer] Rest

Between the beginning of school and things going on at home and work, I'm exhausted. Sleep will come within a few minutes, but before then, please agree with me in prayer:

Lord, please continue to provide your protection and blessings to our family. We ask that you continue to refine and stretch us, making permanent and lasting changes in our personal relationships, ideas and actions. Continue to lift us up, making our crooked places straight. Please bring to our minds any unrepentant sin that's in our lives. Help us be a blessing to others and live as an honest-to-goodness example of the authentic Christian life. Amen.

Good Night

Good Night

Just a quick post tonight. We had a couple of unexpected furry guests take up residence in the backyard today. A couple of stray dogs found their way into the neighborhood and my daughter decided to take them in, while my wife and I were at work. Not cool.

The humane society was closed, animal control was closed and no one was responding to the flyers we hung up today. So, bedtime was a little more stressful than normal. After the dogs settled down in the makeshift kennel in the back yard, my family settled in for the night.

Suddenly, the dogs started barking loudly and I bolted downstairs to quiet them down. A man's voice came across the yard, asking me to take my dogs inside; it was the Salem police department. They had a K9 unit and were the cause of the barking. Here I was, trying to explain that these weren't my dogs and that I couldn't take them inside because of my own pets. I had nowhere else to take them, and no way to "shut them up" at 10:00 at night. Surely, my neighbors hated me, we were in violation of the noise ordinances and we were helpless.

It turns out that the police apprehended someone who was running around our neighborhood about a half an hour after our initial encounter. They were there with their dogs looking for someone specific, while our "guests" barked endlessly.

Did they help track the location of the criminal? I have no idea, but I can tell you this; I'll be VERY happy when they make their way [to another] home.

Good Night

Happy Labor Day (School's In)!

I hope that you've all had a safe and happy holiday weekend.

As for us, it was pretty negative. Our family reached critical mass and everyone pretty well had it out. Lots of anger, tears and hurt- not good. My wife had a migraine and it seemed that the enemy was running rampant in our house and with our personal relationships.

Things perked up a bit during a family BBQ this afternoon. We were able to step outside of our daily lives for a few hours, hit the pause on the issues we're facing and enjoy good food and great company. It was refreshing. Finally, a good belly laugh was had by almost everyone just before bedtime, as we thumbed through some old pictures of the kids on my computer. Hearing laughter and seeing smiles was such a great experience this evening. The kids are back in school tomorrow, and I wanted their last remnant of Summer to be positive.

Thank you Lord, for these reminders about what life's all about. It's not about money, bills or stress. It's not about tyranny because the house is messy or gripping control based on fear and uncertainty of what "might happen". It is all about love, and I often forget this fact. Please help me to "walk the walk" of faith. Please help me let go and trust you for once in my life. Please affect an everlasting heart change in me and my family. Amen.

Good Night

Wrecked, or Refined?

I'm exhausted. Today's been full of ups and downs- but far more downs than ups. The sermon about Philip and the Ethiopian from Acts chapter 8 (verses 26-40) was a clear example of two men; one who loved the Lord and was quick in obedience to make a journey, and another man who wasn't clear on what the Bible was saying, made the ultimate outward expression of baptism. Neither man waited- they acted quickly.

As I understand it, the story can be broken down into the following points:

1. God sent an angel to speak to Philip, indicating he was supposed to go on a trip.
2. Philip didn't know what was going to happen on his trip, but he was obedient and immediately jumped into action anyway.
3. Philip met up with another man, and counseled him in the scriptures, sharing the story of Jesus Christ. This fellowship helped the Ethiopian grow in spirit and understanding.
4. The Ethiopian man immediately seized the opportunity for baptism. Philip was willing and the eunuch didn't delay.

Obedience, obedience, obedience.

Prior to the sermon, we ran a clip of a couple I know in our congregation. It was their testimony of going "all in" and trusting in the Lord with their tithing. It was amazing to hear about the struggles that these two have over come, and that the Lord has wholly restored them. They started their obedience to the Lord when the chips were down and He came through for them time and again. I was moved to tears.

If you've been following my blog for more than a week, you know that we'd signed up for "all in" as well. However, we removed our card for the program when it came time to write the check. It was payday and the bills were due, the cabinets were bare, the kids needed new clothes and shoes and it was already financially tight. Although it was something my spirit was screaming to do, we bailed on the program because by the numbers, tithing looked like complete and utter foolishness- it was hysterical on my spreasheet. We could tithe, but then we would literally have a couple of unpaid bills and less than our norm for food this month.

Instead of jumping in faith, I did what I've historically always done; clam up, become a grumpy, resentful and miserable miser. I was so close to carrying out my belief, but I couldn't let go and trust. Then things came apart.

Out Internet connection died. It was our wireless router, it simply gave up the ghost. Then, the expenses of food, house, car, utilities, kids' clothes and shoes took their toll. Then came the worry and stress over how to pay my son's "new" orthodontics bill, as well as a nice "thank you" gift we'd like to give our neighbor, who selflessly came and removed an unwanted tree from our front yard. Finally, our truck's rear window regulator broke, leaving the window stuck in the down position. It seems like no matter what we want to do (tithe), waves of financial problems keep beating us into the rocks.

It was simply more than I could handle today. I broke down and lost it. I SMS texted a friend of mine, asking for his help in "talking me down" from the ledge. I didn't expected him to call, but I'd hoped that he would. A few minutes later, the phone rang; it was the friend I'd contacted. He said he'd been reading his Bible, and the Lord placed it on his heart to call me. He didn't even look at my SMS text messages!

After a couple of phone calls spanning well over an hour, I have a little more insight into the reality of taking the step of faith and going all in. Even if it doesn't make sense, I need to obey. My friend also helped arm me with some things to assist in keeping from hurting my families' feelings when I'm feeling overwhelmed and under stress. (Recently my family shared that they were afraid of telling me about spending money on anything, as they fear I'll be angry with them.) I never want to hurt my family- all I want is to be obedient to the Lord, and a great husband and father. I've blown it over and over again. I'm so tired of this merry-go-round.

This story was hard to admit. Only a week ago, we were "gung ho" and ready to go all in. However, the stakes were piled high this week- and a financial wasteland presented itself as I turned and imploded. That was not the correct choice to make.

I'm still watching this mess unfold. Feelings between my wife and I are still extremely raw; she's very upset with me and we're not on the best of speaking terms. My children know that I want to trust God for his protection, but they're seeing the bills stack up and their father come undone, instead of practicing what he preaches. I'm the world's greatest Christian hypocrite. This spiritual roller coaster ride is taking its toll. Jesus, please forgive me.

Psalm 126:5 (English Standard Version)

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!

Good Night

Bummer

After church tonight, my wife and I swung by Quizno's for dinner. We were going to go out with some friends tonight, but after a full day of school clothes shopping, my wife needed to come home and relax. Honestly, it turned out to be a wise decision.

It seemed that our car's rear passenger window was not able to roll up. When it rolled down, grinding noises and a wobble of the glass were the telltale sign of yet another regulator or cable system failing. Great. Another car repair we get to figure out. We just went through this process with another window a few months ago and it isn't a cheap fix.

My wife indicated that while she was out today, someone had placed two hand prints on our window, so it's unknown whether or not that person was trying to break into our car or not. Either way, I'm depending on the Lord to help us out of this jam.

Philippians 4:19 (English Standard Version)

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Good Night

Take A Good, Hard Look In The Mirror

This passage struck a nerve this morning. How many times have I asked the Lord for forgiveness of my sins, while I was secretly hard-hearted towards another person? What about the times I've taken communion or offered up songs of worship, and my mind drifted away from the Lord mid-process?

How often would I look negatively upon someone because of a personal situation, or something they've said, only to find myself making the same types of poor choices in similar circumstances? My point? I'm a dirty dog; just as guilty and sin-riddled as the next guy.

Thankfully, Jesus is my Lord and Savior.

It's important to honestly check over our lives each day and assess the "problem areas" we discover. Let's repent of our sins and make sure that we're living for Jesus, inside and out.

1 Corinthians 11:17-34 (English Standard Version)

17But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. 18For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, 19for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. 20When you come together, it is not the Lord’s supper that you eat. 21For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk. 22What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not.

23For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, "This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me." 25In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me." 26For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. 31 But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. 32But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.

33So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another— 34 if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together it will not be for judgment. About the other things I will give directions when I come.

Good Night

Grumbling on a Thursday Evening

I'm disturbed. I was checking the CNN website for the latest news, when I spotted an article front-and-center on the home page. The title? "Stephen Hawking: Gog didn't create universe". Out of morbid curiosity, I read the spread.

I don't know how one of the most brilliant human beings on the planet can miss the forest for the trees.

If, just if he were right, it would seriously alter my outlook on life, the lives of our family and whether or not morals would even be required. If God didn't exist, nor had he planted a conscience deep inside each of us, I have no doubt that we'd be even more deeply trapped by sin. If there was really no God, I'd have to side with others in the notion that belief in God (or any higher power) was lunacy. Maybe this is what Paul meant:

1 Corinthians 1:18-25 (English Standard Version)

18For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19For it is written, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart."

20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. 22For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, 23but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, 24but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

Good Night

I Love Apple

No other consumer electronics company (I can't very well say "computer company" anymore, now can I?) get my pulse rising and adrenaline flowing like Apple. A few times per year, bloggers, journalists and geeks alike light up like Christmas trees when the notoriously tight-lipped tech giant releases "the next new thing".

If you've owned an Apple product within the last decade, you'll know what I mean. From the iMac to the Macbook Pro, these systems are engineered and assembled by a fanatical Industrial design team and showcased by a very talented and passionate marketing force. This same attention to detail and "my goodness, this thing is beautiful" factor isn't spared from the portable iPod and iPhone juggernauts. Apple products simply exude quality and class and ignite gadget lust in millions of loyal customers. (Remember not to allow your precious iPad to take residence as an idol in your life...)

Today, Apple released a whole iPod line refresh, with some pretty cool technologies. The iPod touch is now equipped with forward and rear facing cameras, as well as the legendary iPhone retina display. The result? FaceTime! The iPod touch is about as cool a device you can get, without a data plan.

The iPod nano now features a touch screen as well. Gone are the click-wheel controls- every function is commanded by the multi-touch interface. Screen size is comparable to the older nano, however the lack of analog controls allows the overall size of this little wonder to shrink to roughly half it's previous size. It's very small, but really cute (yeah, I said cute- you got a problem with that?) and a perfect step up from the iPod shuffle (although video support and an accelerometer from the previous generation were conspicuously missing).

Speaking of the shuffle, the smallest member of the iPod family looks surprisingly like the same namesake from 2 generations ago. VoiceOver is still a key feature of the new shuffle, however analog buttons have returned to the front fascia. (Between you and me, the previous non-button shuffle was never appealing.) At $49, I cannot imagine a smaller, more sophisticated music player.

My heart was stolen by the Apple TV. This black (finally!) pint-sized box provides noise free (no cooling fans) streaming of content from your Macintosh and the Internet. I gravitated toward the inclusion of NetFlix as a supported service, in addition to the iTunes store. Although I'm currently a Blockbuster member, I'm seriously rethinking what I'm willing to pay each month for entertainment. At $99, I could put one in each room of the house and rent a load of content for what we're paying for a year's worth of DirecTV.

At any rate, it's an exciting time for Apple. This Christmas season should prove interesting. No other consumer electronics manufacturer that I know of, is releasing a new game console, music player, or "got-to-have-it" widget. Aside from the big-ticket 3D capable Blu-Ray players and HDTV's, Apple's gadgets are likely to adorn the lists of many.

Good Night